I will be fierce ….. maybe!!

So. Another year is over and a new one begins. I say that with a sigh and a tear and just a hint of joy if I’m completely honest.  1st January 2017 nearly killed me, and well, 1st January 2018 has only been slightly less painful.

Whilst a new year can and does fill  me with (some) excitement, it also formally acknowledges that it is a year longer since Elijah was here, and it will be another year in which he will not be present.  Another year of things which he will be missing from – of photos taken, birthdays celebrated, days out enjoyed. And it’s hard folks, it is really hard.

But, I feel a little more ….. fierce, perhaps at the beginning of this year. As I think back on 2017 I think I would have to admit that it was a year of merely surviving. Of getting through in any which way that we could. And really we did just that. It wasn’t a bad year don’t get me wrong, we had some truly lovely times with friends and family and especially as a tight little Bovis 5. We raised £6, 157 for charities which supported us in our journey with Elijah. I spoke at events and wrote about our story and Elijah’s name got spoken by others more than we could have ever imagined. 2017 was a “different” year for us. But no less wonderful in the lessons that it taught us.

For me, 2017 was all about RELATIONSHIPS.

Guys, relationships are important. So important.  We are created to be relational. Protect the relationships that you have.  They are what makes life that bit more bearable.

2017 taught me what friendship truly is and who it looks like. A friend loves at all times.  Friendship is not necessarily determined by the length of time that you have known someone, nor is it defined by how often you see someone. Friendship, I have learnt is about those who love you for who you are, and yes accept you for who you are, but more than that – a true friend wants the best for you always. A friend is not just your friend, they also take on your family. They care for the WHOLE of you …. does that make sense?! I hope it does. I have come to truly value a good friendship ….

2017 saw me come to value and love and need family even more than before. Family are who you are. They are what makes you who you are today and who you will be tomorrow. Life is short …. love your tribe hard. Sacrifice personal preferences.  Love them well.

It was a year of continuous reminders that God is within us and beside us. He makes us stronger than we knew we could be from within. He makes us brave by fighting in the battle beside us. And He leads us forwards, lighting and preparing the path before us, because, from above us, He sees and knows the way. Get that relationship right, because when it’s as it should be, all the rest falls into place.

2017 – a year of significance. A year of survival. A year of being brave to just keep breathing.

2018 – a year of significance. A year of being brave enough to start living again …. I will be kind, I will be joyful, I will love hard. But I will also be fierce. I’m a mama to 5, wife to my hero, awaiting a Crown one day 👑 …. but til then I have a job to do here and I intend to do it well. 

Happy New Year to you all – thanks for being part of my 2017 – thanks for reminding me you don’t always have to meet people face to face to have a relationship with them! May 2018 be a year of significance for us all.